Wednesday, May 4, 2005

did i f up??

ok, so i just broke up with alice... and i'm not even totally sure why... i keep saying that i'm tired of being in a relationship, and that i need some room to breath. which i think is true, but i guess i just needed time to myself, and i'm just not ready to be as committed as we were. i mean it really felt like our whole lives were revolving around each other, neither of us really hung out with anyone else, and that was really great for a while, it's what i thought i wanted... i mean, i could have easily said, "hey, lets not spend so much time together"... but after a year together, it's kind of silly to start taking things backwards, and i guess if i'm feeling these feelings it's a sign that i'm not ready for this deep of a commitment... but holy shit do i miss her... i keep going over it in my head wondering if i did the right thing by letting her go... and the worst part is that she told me she probably wont ever speak to me again... i mean, i didnt want her out of my life... i just didnt want to be in a relationship anymore... man, this is like one big ramble... i need to put some thought into things before i start writing... eat crap...