greetings, from the future...

it's a bit choppy... but this is what i remember... apparently i was some sort of serial killer, and had quite a collection of bodies in my basement, and i lived in some sort of house with the lower level converted into a small diner, and i'm guessing that i killed the poor fools that decided to stop in for a bite to eat... anyway, i got caught by the fuzz, but for some reason they didn't take me to prison, they instead put me on house arrest and let me continue operating my "diner"... but there were very frequent visits from police checking up on me... and i wasn't killing anymore. a few month lapsed by and over that time i'd meet girls that i'd have interest in or try to make friends, and i'd have to tell them (because of a court-ruling) that i was a reformed serial-killer... this of course would end most conversations or short-lived friendships. but then one day i was talking to some girl that i'd been talking to for a brief p

is what i want to title my next music compilation... which won't be out anytime soon considering it's been about 4 years since i've made one... i guess around the time i got my first ipod... but yea, i've been keen on ending other peoples sentences with "with your pants off"... for no reason... and it usually doesn't apply or make sense... but it amuses me... with my pants off...

it's always the realistic dreams that freak me out, not so much the dreams with floating aliens slinging fudge at waffles... anyway, last nite i dreamt (or dreamed) that i was working late in the office, which is on the 22nd floor in downtown SF. I was looking through some paperwork with my friend wendy and some other nameless folks... and there was a real low rumbling sound that slowly started getting louder over about a 10 second period... after a few seconds we all started looking around at each other with slight concern on our faces... realizing that it sounded a lot like a large airplane, which should NOT be flying this close to the downtown area. then there was a fairly loud crashing noise and a bit of a quake, and within a few seconds the lights flickered and everything in the room started to slide a little bit to one side, along with us people... we all realized there had been some sort of explosion and the building was falling... for some reason i wasn't pani

it would probably freak people out if i started drawing demons... with my own blood... i'm just sayin...

'tis halloween... i'm costumeless... i haven't done ANYTHING halloween related this year... BUT i'm gonna try to get joe to go to the castro tonite... i've been there before, and it's basically like being tortured, but i just feel like i need to do something halloweenish... so my crude joke of the day was to walk into geoff's office (who isn't dressed up) and say "nice costume... you're dressed as a retard right??"... it made me laugh... sidenote: firefox v2 has some built in spellcheck... and every other word in this post has the little red "you spelled that wrong" line under it... which makes me think that my grammar ain't so good... and also makes me think i should turn that crap off...

one of those "feed the children" commercials was just on... and i was trying to figure out in my head whether or not it would be assholish if i sponsored a kid, but when they sent me the kids "packet" i called them up and asked if i could get a different kid because i thought the one they sent was ugly...

random thought of the day: how come people say, "i don't understand" instead of, "i overstand"...

I had a couple of dreams last nite involving lots of soldiers... i remember the first one fairly well, it was me and a couple of friends riding around town bored... and someone (not me) thought it'd be a good idea to drive over to the army base and shoot at some soldiers, and apparently we had some handguns and rifles in the car... so we drove over there, drove straight up to the gate and started exchanging gunfire, i think i killed one guy, mainly because he was about to kill one of my friends... next thing i know we're trying to get away on foot, running down railroad tracks... but unfortunately we got surrounded by a buttload of troops and we threw our hands in the air and surrendered... and i remember saying, "i knew this wasn't a good idea"... there was even a military trial in my dream and we were all sentenced to at least 10 years in prison... the dreams was pretty realistic, i can remember the feeling i had in my gut when i realized i'

so last nites dream was the first one in a long time that i've remembered any amount of detail, which isn't even that much really... anyway, i remember it started out with me and some other friends climbing around on some big mound of light-brown dirt... it was supposed to be the backyard of my families house... and the yard was huge! and there were smaller mounds on the one HUGE mound... and i think they were infested with termites... there were bugs everywhere... but that's about all i remember from that part... just hopping around and climbing on the big dirt mounds... then i remember running through some wooded area with some friends, it was either really cloudy/dark or it was twilight... not quite dark yet.. and we came to what seemed like a dried up moat, with a fence on the other side... so there was about an 8 foot drop into this dried up moat that was about 10-feet wide, then we had to climb up the other side, walk a few feet and climb over this 10-

oh man, i just got back from my sisters graduation... luckily the sun wasn't out (it was hot as hell), and luckily it didn't rain.. win/win... anyway, during the whole two hours that we watched from outside the fence (standing the whole time) my father didn't stop yapping/complaining, now i know why we haven't gone anywhere as a family in about 15 years... oh, and my sister went the wrong way after she got her diploma... hehehe... so anyway, there's this mockingbird in our backyard... apparently my cat attacked it about a week ago, but wasn't successful in catching it... so now almost any time my cat is in the backyard this bird will perch somewhere and squawk at him non-stop... not only that, he's been dive-bombing him, and actually clipping him in the back, he even knocked my cat off of a fence once... i'm trying to catch it on film... and i'm also trying to avenge my cat... ps- i never want to get drunk off of wine a

after picking up my dad from work, i had the privelege of driving him to newark to visit some old lady in a nursing home to pick up some pill(s)... don't ask... but my favorite part of my uneventful day was at dinner.. some huge fly landed on the loose plastic wrapping of the hamburger buns... so i gave it a swift backhand... it went flying, smacked my grandma in the forehead and landed on my dads paper-plate... i think it was a lot funnier since i didn't notice it hit her and she didn't really know what was going on, we both found out right after when she said (holding her head), "something just hit me in the forehead"... i just cackled...

so last nite me, jonny and hami went to see a live performance of the texas chainsaw massacre. well, it was actually called "the chainsaw massacre", i guess to avoid any copyright infringemtents... anyway... it blew ass... big hairy ass... i went to the live performance of evil dead last year, which was actually pretty damn good... but this year the place they held it at was pretty much a warehouse... and the cocksmokers didn't even have a stage, they performed the whole thing on the floor level with us seated-folk... so of course nobody could see half of the shit going on... and the place was hot as the devil's balls... and the seats were shit too... oh and the story was half-assed and all over the place... adding in characters, making lame references to jason vorhees and freddy... it was really a painful experience that lasted about 4 hours... i feel like i got robbed of $20.

so i've decided on how i want to die... well actually it's more of a "when" than "how"... anyway... i want to die during "the apocalypse"... or some form of earth-ending event... like a meteor destroys the planet, or aliens come and exterminate us, or a super-virus eradicates us all... i've just realized that it'd be kind of comforting knowing that i'm not gonna miss anything... like there isn't gonna be any really cool movies or books or anything that i'm going to miss out on after dying... and it's kind of cooler to die off with everyone else than getting taken out by a bus or some std... and plus if most everyone else dies... i wouldn't want to be one of the handful of schleps left wandering around saying things like, "oh my god..." over and over again with one hand on top of my head; and "so much devastation...". or after a few weeks, "good god these bodies smell like shit!!!

man... this is so typical, as soon as i decide to start blogging my dreams i either don't remember them at all or i remember a 2 second snip-it... so anyway, last night i know i had a dream that took place in a bar in mexico and involved burt reynolds... i remember his face looking like he had wayyy too much plastic-surgery... and i remember going into my jacket pocket to get my camera and getting that panicked feeling that i lost it :( but pulling out my camera phone to snap a quick photo of us with the burt... i'll come back and update this if i remember anymore...

starts with me & grandparents at some outdoor church. we start heading home, grandma is movin' fast and gets out of view... i run ahead to find her, but i can't, then i lose gramps too... shit gets all weird now, there's a talking bunny that's getting electrocuted, some axel foley (beverly hills cop) looking dude getting arrested, some headless guy sitting in a car... then all of a sudden i'm back living at my grandparents house, we have a golden retriever, it's sitting on my lap and starts to spazz out & tries to bite me, it's body is stiff and motionless, just it's jaws are slamming shut trying to bite me... my dad refuses to help, he's standing in the next room with one hand on the wall trying to vomit... i look out the window for help and see some strange looking little girl, she smiles and has this bizarre looking 2 rows of teeth (like a shark)... next thing i know me, nick and jonny are upstairs with these 2 spanish broads

The Larry David dream: This one took place in front of my grandparents house in Nutley. So there was this HUGE tree in front of the house (that isn't really there) and a larger than normal telephone pole with a couple of levels of wires on it. Also in the immediate area are a few random buffalo, just sittin' around chilling... they really have no part in this dream except as decoration. Then Larry David comes out of nowhere to climb the ginormous tree, and before you know it there's a crowd gathered to watch Larry conquer the tree. He gets really high up in the tree, and then slips and falls out of the tree from about 30 feet up, a fall that should have hurt him really badly... but he just landed on his feet and was perfectly fine. He then turned around and began ascending the tree again, going higher than before. This time he slipped again and managed to fall onto the telephone pole, landing safely on a metal bar that held some of the wires in place. When he landed a

The buffy dream: It starts off with a whole crew of us in a huge super market, and all of the sudden all the lights start to go out, people start flipping out and everyone runs for the door, which is about the only area that is still lit. i kinda freeze for a minute trying to realize whats goin on, when i see mike, who is about 50 feet away, take a real bad spill while running full speed, after he slams his head he slides across the floor about 6 feet and hits the wall where he lay unconscious. before i could reach him someone else starts to shake him to revive him, and hes back on his feet (slightly groggy) in a few seconds. by this time im right next to him and i throw his right arm over my shoulder (crutch style) and we flee the supermarket together... when we get outside we're heading down a car ramp and pass up some guy thats chained to the side of a railing, and topless when we reach the bottom we see some kind of creature off in the shadows (in the direction we need to go)

so i decided i'm gonna start logging my dreams whenever i remember them... so i figured i'd post some of my old dreams that i happened to write down in notepad, the only reason i wrote these down was because i seemed to remember almost every detail, and that they're kind of crazy... anyway... The X-men dream: i dreamt that i was in gramps house with jean grey and another x-chick.. they had knife fight and came after me... i escaped downstairs and headed for the door, and unlocked it... mike was right behind me... i picked up a pillow to block the knife jean threw at mikes back, which i did. we made it outside and little kids tried to get us to take them with us... but it was a trap, so we ran. when we got outside there were lots of cars... we decided to head to my car but as we got closer i noticed someone sitting in the drivers seat... so we got in some passing car... we went to the mall. at this point i became wolverine and mike was nightcrawler, in the ma

so i feel the need to blog the fact that the blockbuster store on geary @ 17th ave (in SF) has a ridiculous amount of crappy/awesome horror movies... i'm not sure half of them are sci-fi channel original movies... but everytime i go there i see new terrible horror movies... but there was one i saw yesterday that shall be rented soon, probably when nick comes out here in a few weeks... i think it was just called "the gingerbread man" starring gary busey... which of course stars a killer gingerbread man... like an actual man-sized cookie... killing people... i really should find out who runs this store, so i can shake his hand... or marry her if it's a girl...

so i've realized i have a recurring dream of sorts... it pretty much consists of me being somewhere and basically being lost... i've had a couple where i'll just be standing in the middle of a school, that i'm apparently attending... and i'm sometimes naked, but the main thing is that i've BEEN going to school there for a while and SHOULD know where everything is... but i have no clue where my locker is, let alone the combo... or where my classes are, or where the office is, or who anyone is... last nite i had a dream that i woke up in a foreign place, but i think it was just a part of SF that i haven't been to yet... anyway, i was naked when i woke up in the dream and had no idea where my clothes were, or my keys, or phone, or wallet, or anything else i normally have with me at all times... i had that same feeling of helplessness and vulnerability from the other dreams... and for me these dreams are far worse than any type of dream that

oh, so the other day i finally made the leap and purchased one of them tablet & pen input doo-hickeys for the computer... they look like a mousepad with a pen... and you can actually draw on them and it draws straight to the computer... i guess mainly because i've seen so many really awesome paintings on the deviantart.com website and most of them turn out to be digital paintings... which seems a lot more carefree and relaxed... since there's always that sweet undo button... :) i <3 undo...

so, keeping in line with (b)logging my random thoughts... i was talking to sergio earlier today on AIM and he was telling me how the punches thrown on LOST sounded ridiculously loud... so of course i told him that if i ever make a movie, every punch thrown is going to sound like an explosion! so naturally i started to think that the same effect could be achieved if i taped some of those little snap things (the sperm-looking wads of tissue paper with gunpowder in them) to my fingers and punched someone in the head... so obviously my next thought was that if i "taped" enough of them to my hand maybe i could make someones head explode (of course my hand would be gone too, but it'd be worth it!)... so sergio was in awe of my brilliance and said he wanted to be my pupil, so i decided i should have a dojo or something... and it should be called "the order of the boom-fist"!! i should make a mock-website... i already have the logo all planned out...

i don't know why i have such a fascination with poo... it's not even crap-jokes or that farts are funny... i just like to use the words: poo, crap, and turd a lot... i mean, i guess it could be the fact that i'm part german... and since i'm only PART german i don't take it too far, by getting off on poop, or pooping on girls... so yea, i just looked at my desk calendar and realized that the word "turd" sits right in the middle of saturday... it made me chuckle, so i said to myself "i should write about turds in my journal"... random sidenote: i've been having issues using the spacebar lately... my timing is off... i keep putting the space in the wrong spot.. lik ethis... ort his... ps- i went to the gym yesterday.. and ran on the elliptical machine for 2 mile... which is about 1.9 miles farther than i've ran in about 3 years...

oh no!!! 2 entries in one day!! what's going on here?!?!? anyway, i feel the need to vent to my journal about the laugh-talker... she's one of those people that when i hear her i grit my teeth... i almost feel bad about how much i loathe her, since i'm sure she's a nice person, behind that sinister laugh-talk of hers!! so, what's her deal you ask?? what makes one a laugh-talker?? i'll tell you! it's quite simple really, and the name is very indicative of what it is... she talks whilst laughing, it's hard to explain in type... but it's something like this: random person: hey laugh-talker, what's new? laugh-talker: ha-ha-not-ha much-hahaha random person: nice, what'd you do this weekend? laugh-talker: he-he-i went-ho-ha to the ha-ha-movies-he-ho i'm not exagerating, she does this obnoxious laugh-talk for no god-damn reason!! i mean, the things she's laugh-talking about aren't even in the realm of funny... and she alway

i don't really look to the future all that much... which is bad... since i'm almost thirty now... i should be settling down and planning for my retirement soon... or at least trying to figure out a way to make money that doesn't involve me sitting in a cubicle shifting papers around all day long... anyway, i think when people ask me my 5-year plan... or even my long-term goal... i think i'll just respond with "to not die"... i mean, that's definately a reasonable goal... shit, as long as i'm still alive, that's an accomplishment!! see, i feel better about myself already...

so i'm riding the bus to work this morning... staring out the windows as usual... the bus stops at a light, and i see some woman walking her dog, and then the little pooch stops and starts droppin' hot logs on the sidewalk... and i could tell he didn't like all us bus-folk watching him do his business, so i started thinking that if i owned a dog how he'd feel awkward that i always watch him do his business, which made me think that i wouldn't really love someone watching me poop, which then lead me to start thinking that i'd let my dog watch me poop once in a while... just to even out the score...

dear diary... i hate work... hey, i just noticed that my last entry was one week ago, at the same exact time!!!! OMG!!!anyway, not much new going on... it's been really rainy and chilly lately... i got a new "water-pipe" this weekend... which kind of counter-acts the fact that i was thinking about giving up the green... oh well... i'm a fatalist anyway... a drifter if u will... i like to think i'm "supposed" to be doing exactly what i'm doing right now... yea, i know it's basically a cop-out... but i didn't ask you!!

so this weekend me and jonny went to a potluck dinner at loren's place on friday nite... i brought a gallon of JD with me... and got pretty shitty... don't remember all that much, but i did have fun, and aparently didn't make an ass out of myself. and saturday nite me, jonny and hami went to dave and busters... it was "wicked" "hella" crowded... and there were lines to use just about every machine, oh, did i mention that i got the "777" jackpot... not once... but two times!! i'm like a god at that game... and then sunday and monday (presidents day) i basically played WoW most of the time... ok, well not nearly so much on monday... ran some errands with the ham-ster... picked up some new games... (sweet jesus i play too much video games)... anyway, tonite is trivia nite at the bitter end... jonny and hami are pumped for it... i'm not a huge trivia fan... but i'mma go lend a hand...