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Showing posts from March, 2006

sa-TURD-ay

i don't know why i have such a fascination with poo... it's not even crap-jokes or that farts are funny... i just like to use the words: poo, crap, and turd a lot... i mean, i guess it could be the fact that i'm part german... and since i'm only PART german i don't take it too far, by getting off on poop, or pooping on girls... so yea, i just looked at my desk calendar and realized that the word "turd" sits right in the middle of saturday... it made me chuckle, so i said to myself "i should write about turds in my journal"... random sidenote: i've been having issues using the spacebar lately... my timing is off... i keep putting the space in the wrong spot.. lik ethis... ort his... ps- i went to the gym yesterday.. and ran on the elliptical machine for 2 mile... which is about 1.9 miles farther than i've ran in about 3 years...

the dreaded laugh-talker...

oh no!!! 2 entries in one day!! what's going on here?!?!? anyway, i feel the need to vent to my journal about the laugh-talker... she's one of those people that when i hear her i grit my teeth... i almost feel bad about how much i loathe her, since i'm sure she's a nice person, behind that sinister laugh-talk of hers!! so, what's her deal you ask?? what makes one a laugh-talker?? i'll tell you! it's quite simple really, and the name is very indicative of what it is... she talks whilst laughing, it's hard to explain in type... but it's something like this: random person: hey laugh-talker, what's new? laugh-talker: ha-ha-not-ha much-hahaha random person: nice, what'd you do this weekend? laugh-talker: he-he-i went-ho-ha to the ha-ha-movies-he-ho i'm not exagerating, she does this obnoxious laugh-talk for no god-damn reason!! i mean, the things she's laugh-talking about aren't even in the realm of funny... and she alway

5-year plan...

i don't really look to the future all that much... which is bad... since i'm almost thirty now... i should be settling down and planning for my retirement soon... or at least trying to figure out a way to make money that doesn't involve me sitting in a cubicle shifting papers around all day long... anyway, i think when people ask me my 5-year plan... or even my long-term goal... i think i'll just respond with "to not die"... i mean, that's definately a reasonable goal... shit, as long as i'm still alive, that's an accomplishment!! see, i feel better about myself already...

stupid thought of the day...

so i'm riding the bus to work this morning... staring out the windows as usual... the bus stops at a light, and i see some woman walking her dog, and then the little pooch stops and starts droppin' hot logs on the sidewalk... and i could tell he didn't like all us bus-folk watching him do his business, so i started thinking that if i owned a dog how he'd feel awkward that i always watch him do his business, which made me think that i wouldn't really love someone watching me poop, which then lead me to start thinking that i'd let my dog watch me poop once in a while... just to even out the score...