Tuesday, October 30, 2007

salvia divinorum

my friend back in jersey told me about this wacky new (to me at least) hallucinogenic drug... it's all-natural and derived from a sage plant. he told me it only lasts 5 minutes, it's safe, and you see some crazy visuals accompanied by fits of laughter. i've always been curious about trying a hallucinogen, this one is legal... so i ordered $10 worth from some website...

anyway, it arrived last friday, i smoked a little bit using my bong, nothing really happened, which they say is to be expected for your first time. i gave it a few days and decided to give it another go this past sunday. two friends were in my room with me (don't try it alone, was suggested) when i took two large bong hits... now i'm going to attempt to describe, as best i can, what happened next...

right after i took the second hit i passed the bong to one of my friends saying something like, "i feel something, try it..." then about 3 seconds later i felt like i got sucked through a vortex, but at the same time i was melding into the couch/wall... i could feel my skin being pulled and becoming one with the couch. i looked over at my friends and it seemed like i got wooshed away and kind of became a small shed that enclosed them, but couldn't interact with them any longer, but i did manage to mutter, "oh my god, don't try it!". so i was sitting on the couch, leaning heavily with my arm on the arm rest and resting my head on my arm, looking out the window. this is where it gets really hard to explain.as i was looking out the window in the distance i could see everything above ground-level being torn away from the earth (like a huge sheet of tape being torn up), leaving behind empty whiteness, this was accompanied by a rumbling noise and a mild earthquake. it was coming toward us... and the only thing that made sense was that reality was coming to an end. and i could see my friends and they didn't seem to care, so i just assumed they were in denial and braced myself for the impending doom. now, the way i rationalized what was happening was that when i was about 7 years old my grandfather slammed a rake against the ground, the impact created a tiny sub-universe that existed only during that fraction of a second that that rake was on the ground, and when the rake was lifted, that's when reality began to come apart. and i also realized (or hoped) that once reality ended i would revert to my 7 year-old self (from that instance) instead of just blinking out of existence. that's about when i scraped myself off the couch and mumbled, "i gotta lay down, i'm not well", and did so.

so as i laid there i was completely convinced that i smoked too much and had salvia poisoning... mainly because i felt like there was no way i could be a normal person in this state and i was convinced that i was stuck that way. i started to think about how i couldn't maintain a job like that, and if i couldn't work or interact with people, how would i get by?!? who's gonna take care of me!?!? i also remember not being able to "feel", like i couldn't imagine having any feelings or interest in doing anything, and almost that there was no point in living... it was pretty depressing and a bit scary...

then it pretty much all faded away, and HOLY SHIT was i grateful... it was like waking up from a terrible dream and feeling that sweet relief when you realize it was just a dream.