Friday, February 29, 2008

foot poop

about a week ago me and the roommates were watching tv in my room... during the commercials there was a product that was advertised to remove a lot of harmful toxins from your body. the way it's supposed to work: you put a big adhesive pad that has a little packet of unknown (magic) white material on the bottom of your foot and go to sleep... and BAM! you wake up in the morning feeling renewed and "toxin" free! i really love these "alternative medicine" products that get released, like those magnet therapy belts/bracelets from a few years ago... i should start collecting them and become superhuman...

so, yesterday my roommate lesley went to japantown and randomly found some japanese versions of this product, so we gave them a whirl... i slept with them on my feet last night. when i put the little pads on my feet they were white, when i woke up this morning... they were brown, kind of like a small dirty diaper. and i think it sucked out some blood!!

here's what it looked like in the morning:

foot poop

do i feel rejuvenated? not really... but my feet feel a little funny, and i have a really stiff neck (i doubt there's a connection)... our theory is that whatever is in the little packet just turns brown from mixing with foot-sweat... i can't imagine it actually sucking harmful toxins from your entire body through the soles of your feet...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

looks like she's quittin'

two nites ago i asked my sister if she was planning on finishing this semester at city college. she replied with, "i dunno, i have to talk to mommy". of course she wouldn't explain what that meant or what they were going to discuss.

so i asked her again last nite, knowing that she spoke with the mothership during the day. and she said she was going to leave as soon as my folks got her a plane ticket. i really think that if i didn't pry it out of her she probably wouldn't have told me until she was on her way to the airport. i'm pretty disappointed in her decision and also a tad pissed about the wasted effort & money, but also a bit glad to have my room back.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

ridiculous or genius?

i was just doing my laundry (more like yawndry...) and while i was folding my clothes this old asian man off to my side starts laying down newspapers on the ground in front of the dryers. at first i thought maybe he had to drop a mean deuce and had run out of options, or maybe he's a crazy and he's making a nest for the nite...

it turned out that i was wrong. apparently he was just laying down a protective layer so that if he dropped any clothes while taking them out of the dryer they wouldn't land on the floor. which made me realize that yea, i do kind of hate when i drop a sock and it lands on the floor, i almost feel like i've lost a battle of some sort. but at the same time i think that the laying of the protective newspaper-nest is just a bit too much. i mean, maybe i would use this technique if our laundromat (laundryworld) was in the tenderloin, or just plain nasty...

maybe if i run into that guy in the laundromat again i'll make my own little nest... and when we make eye contact i'll give him the thumbs-up... and he'll know.

Friday, February 8, 2008

the internet frightens me sometimes....

i get bored at work a lot... so i use stumbleupon to entertain myself... most of the time i find random garbage, sometimes really cool shit... and then sometimes i find things like this... that just freak the shit out of me...




Thursday, February 7, 2008

i'm going to change my name to hank

apparently "anthony" is an incredibly hard name to spell... i'm fairly used to people putting down "antony", that's pretty common and doesn't bother me at all... but over the past few years there's been a few highlights that i'd like to ramble on about.

the first one was about 2 years ago, some woman that i called for work related reasons had to send me a fax. she asked me my name to put on the coversheet, i replied with, "anthony". i get the fax a bit later and on the coversheet is "abbeny"... wtf?!? that's nowhere close... and if that was a real name i think it'd be a girl's name...

the next one was at KFC, they ask your name for when your order is ready. again, i gave my name, then when i get my order and look at what was on the receipt to find "anotheny"... while it's funny when said out-loud, it's pretty far off.

the most recent one was 2 days ago, same scenario only this time at rubio's. this is what she came up with:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

i'm not getting up, just pee between my legs...

i'm sure lots of people have memories from their childhood that seem like they're "normal" occurrences, until one day you tell the story of said memory to a friend or group of friends. in some cases, as you tell the story you begin to realize, even before your friends react, that maybe you should have kept the story to yourself. it's usually at this point that you realize you've got a priceless little gem on your hands.

my little gem:
i must have been 6 or 7 and my brother around 8... he was pooping in the only bathroom at our grandparent's house. i had to pee REALLY badly, and was knocking on the door asking him to hurry up. i don't remember the details too well, but i'm guessing he just refused to hasten his pooping, most likely out of spite or pure evilness. since the door didn't lock very well i just jiggled the knob and opened the door and tried to get him to hurry (since nobody likes an audience while pooping), but this tactic didn't work either. you also have to keep in mind that we're only about 20 months apart in age and grew up bathing together, so seeing each other nude at this point wasn't a big deal. anyway, he refused to budge, and i'm sure i was making claims that i was going to pee on him if he didn't move... so this is where he said "i'm not getting up, just pee between my legs"... at that point he scooted back a bit on the toilet seat, covered his junk with his hand and spread his legs, then i took out my junk (concealed somewhat by my hand) and proceeded to whiz between his legs into the toilet.

i'm assuming that there aren't that many people out there that have ever peed between someone's legs in their lifetime, so i consider myself blessed...