Thursday, August 26, 2010

2-year olds LOVE rolling around in dog shit

while i was visiting family & friends in NJ i spent a good amount of my downtime getting lifted with nick. one of those occasions we decided to take his boston terrier (yuki) out for a walk. the weather was cooling off a bit and it's always nice to take a stroll in my hometown, especially in the summer when it's all lush & green. about halfway through the walk i started thinking that i was a bit too zooted to be out in public, but decided to keep going; since we probably wouldn't even interact with anyone anyway. i was wrong...

we got about 2 blocks away from his house and yuki decides to take the biggest dump of her life, or so nick claims. that's about when he realized that he forgot to bring any poo-bags with him; also about the time we both realized there was some obese trashy looking woman sitting on her porch talking on the phone about 30 feet away from us. nick starts to panic as we both check our pockets for something we could use to grab this stinky/steamy mess with. the only thing we could find was an empty chewing gum container, roughly the size of a playing card. nick managed to grab one of the 3 logs with it and hustled it over to the neighbors garbage can about 20 feet away, getting turdbits on his fingers in the process. i slowly followed him to the garbage and we decided we should abort the walk and head home. we were discussing the craps that we left behind, and what we should do about them. there was a 7-11 about a block away, we could get a bag there and return...

that's about when we heard, "hey, you're just gonna leave this here?!?" screaming at us from down the block. almost instantly nick just started marching right at her, i wasn't sure if he was going to tackle her or what. she's yelling about how her 2 year old is gonna end up rolling around in the shit, apparently 2 year olds LOVE shit. and i tried yelling at her that we were going to 7-11 and would come back, and she was saying that we should have asked her for a baggy... which we should have, but we were high (maybe i shoulda told her that). anyway, nick walks back to her and she goes and grabs a bag to give to him, the whole time going on about how she could have given us a bag and how her 2 year old isn't happy unless he's rolling around in shit. nick cleaned up the turds and didn't look at or say a word to the woman the whole time. i think it was mainly to avoid flying into a rage and biting her ear off. we threw some sorries at her and retreated to the safety of his apartment...




6 comments:

lou Cyfer said...

That might be the ugliest F-ing dog ever

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