Wednesday, April 15, 2009

taser wallet

i was just daydreaming about traveling to europe in the summer-time. then i started thinking about how a friend of mine was saying there's been a lot of muggings and other dickish things going on to travelers. then i started thinking of how i'd keep my goods secure, maybe one of those around-the-neck wallets that hide under your shirt, and maybe even keep a decoy wallet in my back pocket with some old canceled credit cards and a few bucks...
THEN i naturally started thinking it would be cool if this wallet had a small remote activated explosive charge in it, so after i handed it to mister mugger i could reach in my pocket, press a button, and watch his hand explode. but that just seems a little impractical/illegal. but maybe a wallet that was leather with strips of brushed metal on it (fashionably) could be triggered to deliver a high-volt charge when opened. so a mugging would go like this:

mugger: gimme yo' cash mofo!!
me: ok ok, just don't hurt me, i have 5 kids back home that need their papi!
mugger: shut yer pie-hole and fork over the lift!
me: lift?!? ok ok, here's my wallet! *wink
mugger: let's see what i scored... ZZZZZZTTT!!! *mugger hits the ground
me: i got you good you fucker!!! *kick *kick *peeeeee