Monday, January 28, 2008

sister status update

so it's been just about 3 weeks since danni arrived... so how are things going so far??good and not-so-good... on the good side: she's been going to school everyday (as far as i know) and she's made a few friends. she's also been applying to some jobs...

the bad stuff: she really only speaks when spoken to, or when she wants something, and seems to put on this whole "i'm helpless, do everything for me" act that must have been working on my parents for the past rest-of-her-life. i ask her to do something around the house like do the dishes or take out the garbage, or clean something and i usually get, "not right now" as the response. of course that translates to "no".my only other real gripe that is REALLY getting on my nerves is her listening to music or watching tv on her laptop while i'm watching tv or playing a video game... apparently it's too much for her to put on headphones for me... she really has no idea what "the real world" is... no appreciation for anything i'm doing for her... she doesn't seem to realize that i don't have to be doing this or letting her live rent-free and feeding her... yada yada yada... ok, i've vented enough...

Saturday, January 26, 2008

tased

so i got erik a taser (and this) for his birthday and started to really wonder what it felt like to be tased... so i asked alice to hit me with a few times to see what it's all about. this one was rated at 300,000,000 volts, but i bought it in chinatown so i doubt it's quality. so here's a short video (edited with some sweet transitions) of what happened:




Monday, January 21, 2008

you're a weird one..

so, i was hanging out at my friend's places a few months back... i went to change the channel on her tv and found this: after i was done with my laughing fit i tried to get some answers... she just said that she had an empty zip-lock bag laying around... that's it...

Friday, January 18, 2008

happy baby!!

my boss left a card on my desk for me to sign while i was at lunch. one of our coworkers (who lives in kentucky) just had a baby girl (well his wife did). so by the time the card comes to me it's been around the office and about 6 other people have written their well-wishes on it. so now all the standard entries have been made, which means I'd have to rehash one of those or try and think of something that's not TOO personal or TOO funny or TOO strange. but then again, when they read the card they won't know who wrote which entry first... so much pressure...

so my idea was to just write, "Happy Baby!!!" and sign my name... but i think that's a bit too funny (or retarded), and i'm not sure if this guy or his family have a sense of humor at all... i ended up taking the lame road and putting, "congratulations on your new addition!". weak.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

not again... return of the tsunami dreams

seriously... this is just plain freaky... i had ANOTHER tsunami-hits-san francisco dream last night... this is like the 5th or 6th one i've had in the last six months or so...

i remember seeing some random beach front homes that had been ripped up and relocated over about 200 yards to the left of their position.. then i woke up to some rumbling... roamed outside in my undies and saw lots of asian people running around looking panicked... i saw splashes of water coming over the hill (i was at the bottom of a hill) and the splashes started getting bigger, so i tried climbing into some large compartment in the side of a fire-engine... then it ended...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

d-day: arrival of the sistership

my 19 year old sister (danni) is arriving today. she's moving out of my folks place in NJ to live with me and go to college out here.

the only real downside to this endeavor is the fact that we're going to be sharing my room for the time being, at least until she gets a job and seems committed to staying here. this could be a nightmare, or it could be a fun slumber-party every night... i'm nervous as hell... i just hope i'm not too anal or overbearing... and i hope she's got a good attitude.

cult of the dry-sneeze

the soul of the sneeze is born in the depths of the human lung... the sneeze evacuates the lungs and any bad things therein... i don't think the point of the (magical) sneeze is to expel saliva... that's just a nasty (but avoidable) by-product...

just follow these easy steps and you too can be a dry-sneezer!!
1. sense an impending sneeze approaching
2. breathe slower, but deeper, to give yourself a few more seconds before impact
3. swallow as much saliva as quickly as possible
4. enjoy the beauty of the dry-sneeze