cult of the dry-sneeze

the soul of the sneeze is born in the depths of the human lung... the sneeze evacuates the lungs and any bad things therein... i don't think the point of the (magical) sneeze is to expel saliva... that's just a nasty (but avoidable) by-product...

just follow these easy steps and you too can be a dry-sneezer!!
1. sense an impending sneeze approaching
2. breathe slower, but deeper, to give yourself a few more seconds before impact
3. swallow as much saliva as quickly as possible
4. enjoy the beauty of the dry-sneeze

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

pen or keyboard?

so as of 1/1/07 i've been trying to write my daily activities in a journal (pen & paper) just for the hell of it... and i'm trying to keep it more fact-based, as opposed to random thoughts or dreams or whatever crap goes on in my head. but of course once i start writing i veer off on tangents of all sorts... so i'm not sure if i'll be posting much on here, i know all one of my readers will be saddened by this news... but hey, i don't keep this journal for the masses... but yea, i'm gonna try to keep this journal as randomness/dreams and the paper journal mainly factual, which means 90% of the time it'll say: Went to work, played WoW, went to sleep.fucking WoW... how i love to hate u...
Read more

from my psychotic ex, with love

after posting that audio clip (previous entry) i remembered that there's another audio clip that i've been meaning to put on my blog. some back story is in order, but it's a bit funnier and confusing if you hear the clip first... [back story] it was in 1999, i was in the army and stationed in fort sill oklahoma.i was dating a girl that was also in the army, and in the same unit (office) as me. i was really smitten for her. after about 6 months of dating she went completely out of her mind. entirely unprovoked, she would do such sweet things to me, like: punching me in the face, attacking me with hard/heavy/sharp objects, biting me hard enough to draw blood, and once she even punched me in the balls & spit in my face... WHILE I WAS DRIVING! and she would often threaten to kill herself, mainly if i tried to break up with her. i had to wait until the army sent her to korea to finally be freed from her evil grasp. i actually waited until she was IN korea to break u
Read more